WHY DO WE DO WHAT WE DO?

How do we differentiate between needs and motives or motivations.? How not to be ruled by feelings, habits, impulses, and thoughts.?

Varieties of Motivation

One of the fundamental premises of the practice of Nonviolent Communication is that everything we do is an attempt to meet core human needs. Much can be said about what exactly counts as a need, and the difference between needs and the many strategies we employ in our attempts to meet them. There is no claim within this practice that we are all the same; only that we share the same core needs, and they serve as the only reason for us to do anything.

If everything is motivated by one or more human needs, then why are we even talking about varieties of motivations? It’s because what varies is the degree of awareness we bring to the relationship between our needs and our actions. Our various cultures don’t generally cultivate in us the practice of knowing what we want.

On the contrary, much of socialization is focused on questioning what we want and telling us any number of reasons for acting other than because we want something. This is a tragedy of enormous proportions, because what then happens is that what we want goes underground. We continue to act based on our needs without knowing what they are, and therefore with far less choice than we might otherwise do.

When we are not aware of needs, we act based on our feelings, thoughts, habits, or impulse. In essence, each of these types of motivation can serve as a way to deny our responsibility for our choices. Although each of these is connected with our needs, unless we specifically engage with the underlying needs, we are likely to continue to act with less choice than we can cultivate and achieve through becoming need-literate.

Feelings and Thoughts

Unless we develop some kind of practice of conscious engagement with our feelings, most of us experience them and respond to them as internal demands for action or avoidance of action whether or not it’s what we want. Fear, shame, or guilt may lead us to avoidance, while anger or excitement leads us to move toward an action.

When we instantly translate feelings into actions, we sidestep any understanding of what we truly want. Because of the strength with which our feelings “command” action, we don’t have the opportunity to use feelings as what they are designed for, which is to be sources of information. Feelings serve a signal function. They arise from the constant stream of data about what is happening, and our ceaseless evaluation, under the radar of our awareness, as to whether or not our needs are met.

Listening to our feelings carefully allow us to trace them to the underlying needs that give rise to them. Choice lies in the capacity to understand, access, and embrace the underlying needs.

Thoughts mask our choice in a different way from how our feelings do. When we act based on what we should do, must do, or have to do, what we can’t do, what others will say, what is “rational and reasonable” or “appropriate,” we are linking our actions to something that is fundamentally external to us.

Feelings compel us from within, while thoughts compel us from without. The reason this is of such vital importance is that freedom is about choosing rather than being compelled. Choice is always internal: we may, and often will, take into consideration the effect of our actions and choices on others. Still, there is a world of difference between believing we have to do something and choosing it based on what’s important to us underneath the “have to.”

Indeed, our thoughts contain information about what is important to us, and in that way, they too are expressions of our needs. They usually lack the vibrancy of feelings, the sense of being alive, whether happily or not, in the experience of the feeling. They appear to be more “in control” and therefore give us a sense of being more at choice than when we act based on feelings.

The essence about connecting with ourselves at the level of needs rather than feelings or thoughts is that we then feel both the vibrancy of life that comes from being internally connected and the sense of clear choice that comes from knowing what’s important.

Habits

While feelings and thoughts give us the illusion of choice, habits are recognized by most of us as lacking choice. As a result, when people begin the practice of learning to connect with their needs, they easily fall into judging their habits (Self judgement).

Part of the difficulty with transforming habits into choice is that we often are not even aware of taking an action based on a habit. It’s only at other times, away from the action, that we may become aware that we acted based on a habit. Those are also the times we are most likely to judge ourselves for habitual behaviour. What makes it even more challenging is that finding the needs that give rise to the habit requires deep sleuthing/ reflections because the habits were formed in the past, when specific actions may have been powerful strategies to meet certain needs, and those very same strategies may no longer attend to those needs.

Habits, by their nature, are designed to relieve us from having to choose freshly each time, so it’s not likely to be easy to regain choice. This is where compassion for self is essential. It’s only when we have sufficient tenderness toward how hard changing habits can be that we can create a different motivation for the process of change itself: instead of being motivated by “should” thinking, we can find the needs that lead us to want to engage with the habit.

Freedom and authenticity are often powerful motivators. Embracing all our needs in relation to our habits may shift the emotional quality of trying to make a change, for example, from urgency to calm resolve. This grounding can help us mourn any unmet needs that the habits lead to, envision other strategies to meet as many needs as we can, and develop clear requests of ourselves to support the desired change.

It is critical to reach full connection with the needs that lead us to choose the habitual behaviour. This connection is essential for making change that is grounded in self-compassion. Without this quality, we cannot have sufficient internal cooperation, and the attempt to change is likely to be a self-demand that will recreate internal resistance to the change.

Impulse and Intuition

The final contender for being a primary motivator is impulse. Like habits, impulses are recognized as lacking choice and are therefore judged. Contrary to habits, though, impulses appear as “natural” and full of life. Sometimes, especially when we have been enslaved by habits and painful thought patterns, responding to our impulses and acting on them can seem like a welcome relief. They can give us the illusion of coming back to ourselves.

Clearly, impulses are completely spontaneous, and yet they may not necessarily be related to what we truly want. Our impulses can arise for so many reasons, and by themselves, we have no clear way to assess their capacity to realise needs.

Intuition seems to come from a different internal place, and doesn’t have the force of an impulse. An impulse, like a feeling, has a quality of propelling us to action. Intuition’s voice is soft and requires careful attention to discern what is being said. Some of us honor and cherish our intuition, recognizing it as a source of wisdom, directing access to what we want without the painstaking effort of discerning what our needs are.

**Source Credits: a) The book- Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman . . . . . . . . . . b) The book- Nudge by -Richard H. Thaler & Cass R. Sunstein . . . . . . . . . . . .c) The book- Predictably Irrational-by Dan Ariely . . . . . . . . . d) The book- Atomic Habitsby James Clear

Curated By: Dr Shoury Kuttappa

OVERTHINKING: COGNITIVE MANIFESTATIONS

Thoughts are powerful. They become reality. Whatever we hold in your mind on a consistent basis is exactly what we will experience in life. All humans have patterns to their behaviour. These patterns develop over time based on life experiences. And just as patterns are learned, they can also be unlearned.

What Is Overthinking?

The classic overthinking definition is, “to think about something too much or for too long.” While it’s human nature to think things through when making a decision or evaluating a situation, it becomes overthinking when you can’t get out of your own head, worrying about the future or ruminating about the past. Overthinking a tough decision that needs to be made can also cause problems. Replaying all the options in the head can lead to “paralysis by analysis”.

Why Do We Overthink?

Often overthinking is a by-product of anxiety or depression. Often overthinking only materializes when we need to make a tough life decision or when we are dealing with insecurities. If overthinking is not a symptom of a deeper emotional issue, it can often be addressed by changing thoughts and mindsets.

How To Stop Overthinking

Know that overthinking and problem solving aren’t the same thing:
Constantly ruminating and going over scenarios and possibilities often disguises itself as problem solving. It feels like doing something good and useful. Recognize when you’re overthinking something, don’t act like it’s problem solving, and press fast-forward.

Remember the 90-10 rule:
This is a formula, a ratio, for how to value ourselves, based on 90 percent self-worth, 10 percent assigned worth. Ninety percent should come from self-acceptance and self-appreciation, and just 10 percent from external validation. Overthinkers distort the formula, even reversing it by acting like 90 percent of their worth comes from what others think or say. So they worry, which takes the form of overthinking.  

Reopen the door only when new information knocks:
Overthinking goes into overdrive when we keep revisiting decisions we make, refusing to close the door on a call that has been made. Believe that you’ve done your due diligence, and revisit something you’ve already decided only when you’re presented with new information.

Assume good intent:
Overthinkers read too much into things. They are assuming something bad lies underneath, something like a bad perception, someone wishing them ill, or an unfavourable outcome. When this happens, switch the assumption to what is well-intended, or at least neutral.

Embrace informed ignorance and uncertainty:
We can’t read the future, we can’t read minds, and we can’t know everything. When we don’t know something, we tend to fill in the blanks, often with worthless assumptions. One of human tendencies is that we would rather be unhappy than uncertain. These assumptions can take many forms, all infusing themselves into the inner monologue of the overthinker. Try to replace “what if” with “we’ll see.” Another way to handle uncertainty could be the OAR:

1. Observe uncertainty, don’t overreact to it.
2. Acknowledge the presence of uncertainty and accept that impermanence is inevitable.
3. Realize that uncertainty brings benefits, like unleashing creativity and resilience.

Finding clarity in this way usually only takes a few minutes and bit of energy and it can save you a lot of time and suffering.

Stop framing the unremarkable as catastrophic:
This means stop taking small details and turning them into questionable conclusions. We often feel the need to overthink because we simply fear being wrong. Stop making a mountain out of a molehill. Ask yourself in such moments what the realistic cost of being wrong is. When you can lower the stakes, you raise your ability to get mentally unstuck.

Put things into a wider perspective.

It’s very easy to fall into the trap of overthinking minor things in life. So when you are thinking and thinking about something ask yourself: Will this matter in 5 years? Or even in 5 weeks? Widening the perspective by using this simple question can quickly snap us out of overthinking and help to let go of that situation. Get outside it and switch gears to connect with what’s going on around you so you can take joy in it.

Set short time-limits for decisions.
If we do not have a time-limit for when we must make a decision and take action then it can just keep turning our thoughts around and around for a very long time. Setting deadlines for when to complete the decision and spring into action can help to work around this.

Realize that you cannot control everything:
Trying to think things through 50 times can be a way to try to control everything. To cover every eventuality so you don’t risk making a mistake, fail or looking like a fool. But those things are a part of living a life where we truly stretch our comfort zone. Stop trying to control everything. Trying to do so simply doesn’t work because no one can see all possible scenarios in advance. This is of course easier said than done. So do it in small steps if you like.

Spend more of your time in the present moment:
By being in the present moment in our everyday life rather than in the past or a possible future in our mind we can replace more and more of the time we usually spend on overthinking things with just being here right now instead. Some ways that can help to reconnect with the present moment are:

1. Slow down how you do whatever you are doing right now. Move slower, talk slower or ride your bicycle more slowly for example.
2. Disrupt and reconnect. If you feel you are getting lost in overthinking then disrupt that thought (for example, by – in your mind – shouting this to yourself : STOP), then reconnect with the present moment by taking just 1-2 minutes to focus fully on what is going on around you.

Spend more of your time with people who do not overthink things.
Our social environment plays a big part. And not just the people and groups close to us in real life, but also what you read, listen to and watch. The blogs, books, forums, movies, podcasts and music in our life. So think about the sources in life that encourages and tends to create more overthinking in your mind. And think about what people or sources that has the opposite effect on you. Find ways to spend more time and attention with the people and input that have a positive effect on our thinking and less on the influences that tends to strengthen your overthinking habit.

Content Curated By: Dr Shoury Kuttappa

MULTITASKING VS CONTINUOUS PARTIAL ATTENTION

The Story So Far (Background):

In the second half of the last century, the Information and Communication Technologies (ICT) influenced all social structures so much deeply that the impact has created a gap in between the lifestyles of generations and their view of life. Thus, two groups occurred: the digital natives growing with technology and the digital immigrants struggling to keep up with this technology.

In this techno-culture, the presence of the physical and digital world can overlap each other and creates a “hybrid space”, where one no longer needs to go out of the physical space to get in touch with digital environments. The hybrid space is where the boundaries are blurred and where it is hard for people to determine the distinction between physical and virtual spaces.  Digital natives are constantly connected and prefer to progress by randomly jumping from one place to another in modules rather than linear progression. The most prominent behavioural differences are:

Multitasking

It is now very common for people who are preparing their projects on the computer and who, at the same time, go on checking their e-mails and instant messages and chatting on facebook and concurrently join in conservation with friends next to them. For this reason, the concept of multitasking allows fulfilling two or more tasks simultaneously such as making a phone call or checking e-mails while doing homework at the same time. In multitasking, it is important not only the ability to take the control and to focus one’s attention, but also the need for what to pay attention to and how much attention to pay is important.

It is driven by a conscious desire to be productive and efficient. Studies show that it is impossible to focus on more than one task. Therefore, multitasking often results in a high error rate.

Continuous Partial Attention (CPA)

Continuous Partial Attention (CPA) has occupied the present-day agenda of cognitive psychology, communication and education. This concept is referred to as the situation in which the individual does not focus on one thing in reality while he or she is engaged in and follows everything. For instance, the individual watches email notifications, tries to talk to his or her children and chat at the same time. In this case, because the individual is under an interaction bombing, he/she can only focus on each of these interactions, partially.

CPA is an automatic process that enables people to simultaneously pay attention to several sources of information, whilst scanning for relevant information. It allows people to shift from superficially concentrating on a lot of information to focusing on highly relevant information during a short attention span.

Difference between Multitasking and Continuous Partial Attention

They’re sometimes used interchangeably, but the terms “multitasking” and “continuous partial attention” are vastly different in terms of learner behaviour—especially for eLearning purposes. Natural human behaviour dictates how your learners react to certain material, and in a world where time is a precious commodity, organizations must decide exactly how they want learners to experience and absorb information.

We all know the pro multitasker: She can do more than one thing at a time, and her goal is always efficiency and getting things done. Multitaskers are focused on checking off boxes and to do so, such as checking email while eating lunch or taking call notes while doing research. Multitaskers are driven by results and task completion, which can sometimes result in a lack of quality.

A contrast to that behaviour, CPA means paying attention to multiple things at once; not necessarily completing tasks. You’ve probably engaged in continuous partial attention when you walk on the treadmill while listening to a podcast, sent a text message while sitting in a movie theatre, or laid in bed and gone over the latest sales numbers with a late-night TV show in the background. CPA taps into human nature: We crave instant satisfaction and being able to pay attention to a couple of things at once and receive automatic feedback makes us feel good.

Implications in Business & Management:

The concept of multitasking implies the fulfilment of two or more tasks simultaneously.

However,CPA is a concept that expresses the state of being in communication and interaction with everything but truly staying focus on nothing. CPA is something similar to being aware of many things at the same time: drawing our attention to more urgent alerts like a new e-mail notification or the bell of a ringing phone. When CPA is preserved, the perceived control and the eigenvalue feelings are doomed to collapse at some point because our brain, in the long term, is not shaped to follow such observation.

Therefore, CPA is considered a focusing problem which has been caused by today’s information and communication technologies and which could influence almost every phase of daily lives of individuals. The radical transformation which occurred towards digital media as communication tools, has created a profound impact on the lifestyles of individuals. The generation, which adheres strictly to the digital world, has such facilities and advantages as multitasking; however, they face certain negative situations such as continuous partial attention.

CPA forms a high level of stress in the human brain. Therefore, individuals, addicted to the internet, have no time to react, focus on anything or decide thoughtfully; rather, they live in a permanent crisis and in anticipation of a new friend or of a new yet insincere message. This situation may become irresistible after a while. Therefore, digital natives should enhance their multitasking experiences instead of CPA regarding technology use by developing their self-control and self-regulation skills under the influence of cognitive overload.

Steps to Combat Continuous Partial Attention Syndrome:

Turn off notifications. 

Whether its the desktop computer at your workplace or the smartphone you always carry with you, for the love of god, turn off your notifications. That constant dinging, buzzing, and vibrating whenever something happens on Facebook or you get an email is contributing to your continuous partial attention disorder. Nothing’s so important that you should be continuously distracted all day long—have people call you if its an emergency.

Build a routine. 

Consistency breeds creativity. Having a set time and place for each task (and timeboxing your activities) let’s you off the hook when it comes to “always checking in.” When you know that you check and respond to emails between 4 P.M. and 5 P.M., you are not stressing about them all through the afternoon.

Practice galumphing. 

Galumphing is doing something ordinary (taking a walk) in a frivolous, playful way (skipping, whistling a tune, doing cartwheels). A little bit of whimsy in your day-to-day life can refocus your attention and promote awareness. After all, it’s hard to check your smartphone while you’re doing a cartwheel.

Appreciate the moment. 

The mundane, everyday moments of life are integral parts of your life too. Don’t fall into the trap of treasuring only the special, exalted times in your life—you will always be disappointed. Learning to be at peace with waiting is a special skill. Waiting offers an increasingly rare experience in our always-on world—a moment to pause and reflect.

Continuous Partial Attention (CPA) for eLearning:

The takeaway for understanding the difference between multitasking and CPA is this: organizations have to try harder to mold eLearning to their learners’ natural behaviors. Organizations have two choices: They can fight for that attention share with longer, more involved modules, or cater to waning attention spans by developing custom eLearning design and configuration that works in tandem with learner behavior.

The idea of page-turning eLearning might work for multitaskers, but ultimately results in lackluster information absorption. Instead of experiencing the material fully, it’s seen as just another item on the to-do list. Instead, integrating CPA delivery into existing modules in short, pithy, three-to-five minute bursts means learners can listen to an audio clip, play through a few levels on a gamified module, or watch a video, all while their attention is split. Relying less on eyes-on-the-screen eLearning means learners are more likely to tune in and, since they aren’t rushing to get through the module, actually absorb the information more effectively.

Content Curated By: Dr Shoury Kuttappa

THE VALUES AND BELIEFS CHAIN

We are a nation of cricket lovers. The feature that we hit upon straightaway when visiting a cricket stadium for the first time is the grass. Pruned to perfection, it exhibits stripes, diamonds, a checkerboard, or even arches.

Over the years I have gathered many theories about how they’re created: the grass is colored, has different lengths, and so on., but the real reason is a lot naiver. It’s the direction of the blades that tints the grass in various shades. When the sun hits an upright blade, its whole frame reflects the light – rendering it brighter than a blade that points directly towards the sun. Most professionals create the patterns by mowing in different directions. But the astute among them have another trick up their sleeve: they use a simple roller behind their mower to direct the blades with even more force.

And the same way the mowing and rolling directs the grass, our values and beliefs direct our behavior as humans.

What influences our behavior?

On the surface, most of our human behaviors don’t seem rational. But if you follow these impulses down to their roots, everything starts to make sense.

It’s called the Value-Behavior Chain. Our Values influence our beliefs, which determine our attitudes that guide our behavior. That means if a business wants to influence its customers behavior, it must change their attitudes, beliefs or values first.

Values

Values are a measure of worth we attach to something. We can value something very little– meaning basically don’t care. Or we can value someone a lot– going out of our way to do something for that person. Going even further, values are often guide us between what’s good and what’s bad. Universal values are for example happiness, love, freedom, respect, equality and justice. But they can also be as specific as this:

• One of my values is altruism: the fortunate should share their wealth with the less fortunate.

Beliefs

A belief is a feeling that something is true. As a whole, our beliefs represent all the bits of information we collect about people, events and things in life. They don’t necessarily have to be rational or based on facts. They can even be false beliefs and we still cling on to them. They grow stronger the longer we keep them and the more we keep repeating them to ourselves or others. Following our example chain, this could be a belief that’s based on the value above:

• I believe a good company donates some of their profits to charitable causes.

Attitudes

Our attitudes are based on our values (good and bad) and our beliefs (what we know). And they express our relationship towards the world around us. Based on what we value and believe, we like something or dislike it. Or we are ambivalent. An example attitude in our chain might be:

• I like TATA cars because they help people in need. They donated a huge sum of money to The Prime Ministers Relief fund.

Behavior

Our behavior is simply what we do and say–our words and actions. Based on the attitude above, the chain would be concluded through the following behavior:

• Buying TATA Cars.

How are they associated?

Your attitudes are like buoys. They are attached to a chain (your beliefs). And the chain is anchored to the ground (your values). Like the ground, your values will rarely change. Depending on the tide–the circumstances in your life-the buoy will go up and down.

Meaning your attitudes will adapt to what’s happening to you. But they will always depend on your beliefs, as these can be stretched only so far before they break. The only missing piece in the picture is our behavior. Not hard to guess, they are the ships which are guided by the buoys.

As soon as you dive below the surface, people are a lot more rational than they often seem. In fact, their behavior becomes quite clear when you take their motives into account:

• their values: what they find good and not good
• their beliefs: what they know
• Their attitudes: how the relate to their surroundings

And once you know their motives, getting them along becomes as easy as creating a perfectly shaped checkerboard on a cricket field.

Content Curated By: Dr Shoury Kuttappa