PERSPECTIVES ON FAMILY SYSTEMS & BEHAVIOURS: THE BOWEN THEORY- (CHAPTER 02)

***Continued from Chapter 01 (Covered previously: Diwali & Family Ties, Bowen Family Systems, Three out of the eight concepts of the Bowen Theory Views)

Link to Chapter 01:

PERSPECTIVES ON FAMILY SYSTEMS & BEHAVIOURS: THE BOWEN THEORY -CHAPTER 01

04: Family Projection Process

Children inherit many types of problems (as well as strengths) through the relationships with their parents, but the problems they inherit that most affect their lives are relationship sensitivities such as heightened needs for attention and approval, difficulty in dealing with expectations, the tendency to blame oneself or others, feeling responsible for the happiness of others or that others are responsible for one’s own happiness, and acting impulsively to relieve the anxiety of the moment rather than tolerating anxiety and acting thoughtfully. The projection process follows three steps:

These steps of scanning, diagnosing, and treating begin early in the child’s life and continue. The child grows to embody the fears and perceptions of the parent.

Example:- . . . parents perceive their child to have low self-esteem, they repeatedly try to affirm the child, and the child’s self-esteem grows dependent on their affirmation.

Parents often feel they have not given enough love, attention, or support to a child’s manifesting problems, but they have invested more time, energy, and worry in this child than in other siblings. The siblings less involved in the family projection process have a more mature and reality-based relationship with their parents that fosters the siblings developing into less needy, less reactive, and more goal-directed people. The mother is usually the primary caretaker and more prone than the father to excessive emotional involvement with one or more of the children. The father typically occupies the outside position in the parental triangle, except during periods of heightened tension in the mother-child relationship.

05: Multigenerational Transmission Process

This describes how small differences in the levels of differentiation between parents and their offspring lead over many generations to marked differences in differentiation among the members of a multigenerational family. The information creating these differences is transmitted across generations through relationships. The transmission occurs on several interconnected levels ranging from the conscious teaching and learning of information to the automatic and unconscious programming of emotional reactions and behaviours.

The combination of parents actively shaping the development of their offspring, offspring innately responding to their parents’ moods, attitudes, and actions, and the long dependency period of human offspring results in people developing levels of differentiation of self that is similar to their parents’ levels. The next step in the multigenerational transmission process is people predictably selecting mates with levels of differentiation that match their own. As these processes repeat over multiple generations, the differences between family lines grow increasingly marked.

The Level of differentiation can affect longevity, marital stability, reproduction, health, educational accomplishments, and occupational successes. The highly differentiated people have unusually stable nuclear families and contribute much to society; the poorly differentiated people have chaotic personal lives and depend heavily on others to sustain them. A key implication of the multigenerational concept is that the roots of the most severe human problems as well as of the highest levels of human adaptation are generations deep.

For example:-.. . if a family programs someone to attach intensely to others and to function in a helpless and indecisive way, he/she will likely select a mate who not only attaches to him/her with equal intensity, but one who directs others and makes decisions for them.

06: Emotional Cut-off

This explains about people managing their unresolved emotional issues with parents, siblings, and other family members by reducing or totally cutting off emotional contact with them. Emotional contact can be reduced by people moving away from their families and rarely going home, or it can be reduced by people staying in physical contact with their families but avoiding sensitive issues. Relationships may look “better” if people cut-off to manage them, but the problems is dormant and not resolved. People risk making their new relationships too important.

For example:- . . .the more a man cuts off from his family of origin, the more he looks to his spouse, children, and friends to meet his needs. This makes him vulnerable to pressuring them to be certain ways for him or accommodating too much to their expectations of him out of fear of jeopardizing the relationship.

People who are cut-off may try to stabilize their intimate relationships by creating substitute “families” with social and work relationships. An unresolved attachment can take many forms.

Examples may be:-

People often look forward to going home, hoping things will be different this time, but the old interactions usually surface within hours. It may take the form of surface harmony with powerful emotional undercurrents or it may deteriorate into shouting matches and hysterics. Both the person and the family may feel exhausted even after a brief visit. It may be easier for the parents if an adult child keeps distance. The family are relieved when the person leaves.

07: Sibling Position

People who grow up in the same sibling position predictably have important common characteristics. Where a person is in the birth order in the family, has an influence on how he/she relates to her parents and siblings. Oldest children tend to gravitate to leadership positions and youngest children often prefer to be followers. The characteristics of one position are not “better” than those of another position, but are complementary. Some examples:. .

People in the same sibling position may exhibit marked differences in functioning. The concept of differentiation can explain some of the differences. For example:. . . . .. . . rather than being comfortable with responsibility and leadership, an oldest child who is anxiously focused on may grow up to be markedly indecisive and highly reactive to expectations. Consequently, his younger brother may become a “functional oldest,” filling a void in the family system. He is the chronologically younger child, but develops more characteristics of an oldest child than his older brother. Middle children may exhibit the functional characteristics of two sibling positions.

The sibling positions of a person’s parents are also important to consider. An oldest child whose parents are both youngests’ encounters a different set of parental expectations than an oldest child whose parents are both oldests’.

08: Societal Emotional Process

Each concept in Bowen theory applies to nonfamily groups, such as work and social organizations. The concept of societal emotional process describes how the emotional system governs behaviour on a societal level, promoting both progressive and regressive periods in a society. Cultural forces are important in how a society functions but are insufficient for explaining the ebb and flow in how well societies adapt to the challenges that face them.

In times of regression (like the current pandemic), people act to relieve the anxiety of the moment rather than act on principle and a long-term view. A regressive pattern began unfolding in society after World War II. It worsened some during the 1950s and rapidly intensified during the 1960s. The “symptoms” of societal regression include a growth of crime and violence, an increasing divorce rate, a more litigious attitude, a greater polarization between racial groups, less principled decision-making by leaders, the drug abuse epidemic, an increase in bankruptcy, and a focus on rights over responsibilities. Human societies undergo periods of regression and progression in their history.

Content Curated By: Dr Shoury Kuttappa.

PERSPECTIVES ON FAMILY SYSTEMS & BEHAVIOURS: THE BOWEN THEORY -CHAPTER 01

Diwali, also known as the Festival of Lights, symbolizes the spiritual “victory of light over darkness, good over evil, and knowledge over ignorance”.  Celebrations are wonderful ways in which our deep physical, social and psychological needs are met. The family is an important institution that plays a crucial role in the lives of most Indians. In this era of nuclear families, where we experience clashes and misunderstanding on multiple occasions, the survival and dignified growth of family relationships becomes a concern.

Diwali & The Four Life Stages – Varnashrama Dharma

Diwali is not only a festival of lights but also the festival of family relations and celebration. In Ancient India, for the optimum fulfilment, satisfaction and peace in one’s life, the stages of life were discussed as the ‘ashramas’ or ‘Varnashrama Dharma’.

The Varnashrama Dharma system consists of four age-based life stages discussed in Indian texts of the ancient and medieval eras. The child begins his or her life with Brahmacharya stage as a student, then progresses to the Grihastha stage of a householder, then retires to Vanaprastha stage and finally accepts the Sanyasa stage of renunciation.

The Grihastha Ashrama stage (after the marriage of an individual) is considered the most important of all stages in the social, cultural and economic context, as human beings not only pursued a virtuous life, they produced food and wealth that sustained people in other stages of life, as well as, the offspring, that continued mankind. This stage is also where the most intense physical, sexual, emotional, occupational, social and material attachments exist in a human beings life.

Almost all the festivals in India are concentrated around this concept of celebration with family and friends. However, Diwali celebrates the Grihastha stage to the fullest sense by focusing on the multiple aspects and qualities of it, highlighting the need to enjoy and appreciate each member of the family with deserving importance and their mutual bonding with other members of the family. It is almost a complete compendium of coordination of members of family, respect towards each other, love, affection, care and sharing, human values of forgiving, gratitude and humility.

Diwali helps us to seamlessly transmit family values and find our place in the circle of life. Coming together to celebrate a festive occasion reinforces family relationships, provides ample opportunities for bonding and nourishes emotional attachments. Happy memories become positive inner resources that help to calm the mind – they release the feel-good chemicals in the brain. Creating happy memories helps us remember the good times more than the bad ones.

The Bowen Family Systems Theory

The Bowen family systems theory was developed by psychiatrist and researcher Dr Murray Bowen (1913–90). In recent years Bowen’s concept of ‘differentiation of self’ — which describes differing levels of maturity in relationships — has been shown by researchers to be related to important areas of well-being, including marital fulfilment, and the capacity to handle stress, make decisions and manage social anxiety.

Bowen’s theory lends a perspective to understand the variations in how different people manage similarly stressful circumstances. The theory looks at our personal and relationship problems as coming from exaggerated responses, to sensing a threat to family harmony and that of other groups. Some examples from daily life:

Bowen’s concept of ‘differentiation of self’ forms the basis of a systems understanding of maturity. The concept of differentiation refers to the ability to think as an individual while staying meaningfully connected to others. It describes the varying capacity each person has to balance their emotions and their intellect, and to balance their need to be attached with their need to be a separate self. The best way to grow a more solid self was in the relationships that make up our original families; running away from difficult family members would only add to the challenges in managing relationship upsets.

The Eight Concepts

01: Triangles

A triangle is a three-person relationship system. It is considered the building block or “molecule” of larger emotional systems because a triangle is the smallest stable relationship system. A two-person system is unstable because it tolerates little tension before involving a third person. A triangle can contain much more tension without involving another person because the tension can shift around three relationships. If the tension is too high for one triangle to contain, it spreads to a series of “interlocking” triangles. Spreading the tension can stabilize a system, but nothing gets resolved.

A triangle creates an odd man out, which can be a difficult position for individuals to tolerate. Anxiety generated by anticipating, being, or by being the odd man out is a potent force in triangles. The patterns in a triangle change with increasing tension. In calm periods, two people are comfortably close “insiders” and the third person is an uncomfortable “outsider.” The insiders actively exclude the outsider, and the outsider works to get closer to one of them. Someone is always uncomfortable in a triangle and pushing for change. The insiders solidify their bond by choosing each other in preference to the less desirable outsider.

People’s actions in a triangle reflect their efforts to assure their emotional attachments to important others, their reactions to too much intensity in the attachments, and their taking sides in others’ conflicts. When someone chooses another person over oneself, it arouses particularly intense feelings of rejection. If mild to moderate tension develops between the insiders, the most uncomfortable one will move closer to the outsider. One of the original insiders now becomes the new outsider and the original outsider is now an insider.

At a high level of tension, the outside position becomes the most desirable. If severe conflict erupts between the insiders, one insider opts for the outside position by getting the current outsider fighting with the other insider. If the manoeuvring insider is successful, he gains the more comfortable position of watching the other two people fight. When the tension and conflict subside, the outsider will try to regain an inside position.

Examples:

02: Differentiation of Self

Families and other social groups tremendously affect how people think, feel, and act, but individuals vary in their susceptibility to a “groupthink” and groups vary in the amount of pressure they exert for conformity. These differences between individuals and between groups reflect differences in people’s levels of differentiation of self. The less developed a person’s “self,” the more impact others have on her/his functioning and the more she/he tries to control, actively or passively, the functioning of others.

The basic building blocks of a “self” are inborn, but an individual’s family relationships during childhood and adolescence primarily determine how much “self” he develops. Once established, the level of “self” rarely changes unless a person makes a structured and long-term effort to change it.

People with a poorly differentiated “self” depend so heavily on the acceptance and approval of others that either they quickly adjust what they think, say, and do to please others or they dogmatically proclaim what others should be like and pressure them to conform. An extreme rebel is a poorly differentiated person too, but she/he pretends to be a “self” by routinely opposing the positions of others.

People with a well-differentiated “self” are able to recognize their realistic dependence on others, and can stay calm and clear headed enough in the face of conflict, criticism, and rejection. They can distinguish thinking rooted in a careful assessment of the facts, from thinking clouded by emotionality. Thoughtfully acquired principles help guide decision-making about important family and social issues, making them less at the mercy of the feelings of the moment. What they decide and what they say matches what they do. They can act selflessly, but their acting in the best interests of the group is a thoughtful choice, not a response to relationship pressures.

03: Nuclear Family Emotional Process

The concept of the nuclear family emotional system describes four basic relationship patterns that govern where problems develop in a family. The forces primarily driving them are part of the emotional system. The tension level depends on the stress a family encounters, how a family adapts to stress, and on a family’s connection with extended family and social networks. Tension increases the activity of one or more of the four relationship patterns. Where symptoms develop depends on which patterns are most active. The four basic relationship patterns are:

The more anxiety one person or one relationship absorbs, the less other people must absorb. This means that some family members maintain their functioning at the expense of others. People do not want to hurt each other, but when anxiety chronically dictates behaviour, someone usually suffers for it.

***To be continued in Chapter 02 (Points 04 to 08) Link to Chapter -02:

PERSPECTIVES ON FAMILY SYSTEMS & BEHAVIOURS: THE BOWEN THEORY- (CHAPTER 02)

Content Curated By: Dr Shoury Kuttappa

THE SCARCITY MINDSET: MEANING AND BEHAVIORS ASSOCIATED – (CHAPTER 01)

Most of us can remember playing musical chairs as a child. As the music played and we marched around the circumference of the circle of chairs, we anxiously awaited the music to stop so we could fight for that last seated spot. There was something about that one-on-one physical competition and face-to-face conflict fighting for something tangible that added spice to the game. This is often one of the youngest experiences that we have of a scarcity mentality that can be translated to adult life

Simply put, Scarcity is the condition of having insufficient resources to cope with demand. When we are faced with limited resources, we strive to make effective use of them in the process of making important decisions. Economics is the study of how we use our limited resources (time, money, etc) to achieve our goals. This definition refers to physical scarcity.

Once we enter that professional world, that “every person for (him/her)self” way of thinking often re-emerges as many people fight for a single job opening or a chance at being promoted. People in the corporate world are conditioned to think in this limiting way, and we may have been influenced as well.

When we think of the word ‘scarcity’, many of us will immediately think about money. After all, it is expensive to live, and many of us concern ourselves by stretching each Rupee. However, scarcity is a mindset. It comes in many other forms – time, relationships, health, intelligence, judgment, willpower, etc. Scarcity orients the mind automatically and powerfully toward unfulfilled needs. For example, food grabs the focus of the hungry. For the lonely person, scarcity may come in poverty of social isolation and a lack of companionship.

Having thoughts and feelings of scarcity automatically orient the mind towards unfulfilled wants and needs. Furthermore, scarcity often leads to lapses in self-control while draining the cognitive resources needed to maximize opportunity and display judgment. Willpower also is depleted, which makes one prone to feelings of giving up. People in this state attend to the urgent while neglecting important choices that will have a drastic effect on the future. A scarcity mindset is exactly that: a mindset.

Progressive Impact

On the positive side, scarcity prioritizes our choices, and it can make us more effective. Scarcity creates a powerful goal dealing with pressing needs and ignoring other goals. For example, the time pressure of a deadline focuses our attention on using what we have most effectively. Distractions are less tempting. When we have little time left, we try to get more out of every moment.

Scarcity contributes to an interesting and a meaningful life. When there is always time for everything, there is no urgency for anything. A life without limits would lose the beauty of its moments, and it would become boring. For example, resolution of midlife crises consists in accepting mortality. Midlife often heightens the feeling that there is not enough time left in life to waste. We overcome the illusion that we can be anything, do anything, and experience everything. We restructure our lives around the needs that are essential. This means that we accept that there will be many things we will not do in our lives.

Scarcity forces trade-off thinking. We recognize that having one thing means not having something else. Economists call this the opportunity cost—the alternative use of the money. Doing one thing means neglecting other things. However, slack frees us from making trade-offs. For example, as our budget grows, the purchase of the iPad takes up a smaller and smaller portion of our disposable income. Thus, a bigger budget makes decisions less consequential and lessens feelings of scarcity.

Degenerative Impact

The context of scarcity makes us myopic (exhibiting bias toward here and now). The mind is focused on present scarcity. We overvalue immediate benefits at the expense of future ones (e.g., procrastinate important things, such as medical check-ups, or exercising). We only attend to urgent things and fail to make small investments even when future benefits can be substantial.  To attend to the future requires cognitive resources, which scarcity depletes. We need cognitive resources to plan and to resist present temptations. 

A key concern in the management of scarcity is to economize cognitive resources. Cognitive resource is about allocating our limited information-processing abilities. Concentrating our effort on one or—at most—a few goals at a time increases the odds of success. For example, research suggests that the best way to get more done in less time requires one to avoid exhaustion and skillfully manage energy by getting sufficient sleep (8 or more hours), more breaks, or daytime naps.

Loss Aversion:

When we see something which we want becoming less available, we get physical anxiety. This is worse when there is direct competition. The focus narrows and emotions rise making it difficult to feel calm. Opportunities appear more valuable to us when availability is limited. The idea of potential loss plays a significant role in human decision making. People seem to be more motivated by the thought of losing something than by the thought of gaining something of equal value. We prefer avoiding a loss than pursuing gains. The FOMO(Fear of Missing Out) is directly associated with this.

Psychological Roots:

Psychological Reactance Theory:- ‘Reactance is unpleasant motivational arousal that emerges when people experience a threat to or loss of their free behaviors. So, when something (a product or service) which is generally easily available becomes scarce, this perceived ‘threat’ to our freedom to have it makes us crave it significantly more than before.

Anticipated Regret:– Another unpleasant emotional state that may influence our buying choices is anticipated regret. In other words, the feeling we experience when we imagine what it would be like if the decision we are currently making is the wrong one.

***To be continued in Chapter 02 (Forms of Scarcity Mindset, Instances around us, ways to identify and mitigate) Link to Chapter -02:

THE SCARCITY MINDSET: MEANING AND BEHAVIORS ASSOCIATED – (CHAPTER 02)

Content Curated By: Dr Shoury Kuttappa

DECISION MAKING: COGNITIVE BEHAVIORS INVOLVED – (CHAPTER 02)

***Continued from Chapter 01 (Covered previously: Decision Making, its styles, different Cognitive Biases)

Link to Chapter 01:

https://shouryoryx.wordpress.com/2022/02/08/decision-making-cognitive-behaviours-involved-chapter-01%ef%bf%bc

Common Patterns in Decision Making

The upside of understanding various patterns in decision-making is that they lead us to think about how the mind preforms its many complex functions in countless situations and how our awareness of time, space, and the various narrative and cognitive frameworks can help decode the factors that shape our decisions.

Here is a graphic presentation of what author Venkatesh Rao puts forward in his book. The graphic shows “Information Location” across the x-axis going from Internal to External and “Visibility of Mental Models” on the y-axis going from Low to High.

The distinctions among the four classes of basic decision patterns (above) are not arbitrary. They are based on the distribution and visibility of situational information. Information originates either in the decision-maker’s head or in the environment, and we either consciously recognize or are oblivious to the influence it has on our behaviour. 

The ethical principles of decision making vary considerably. Some common choices of principles and the methods which seem to match them include:

Path dependency

Path dependence is when the decisions presented to people are dependent on previous decisions or experiences made in the past. Path Dependence exists when the conditions for decision making is not based on current conditions, but rather has been formed by a sequence of past actions each leading to a distinct outcome. A common example is in Performance Management Systems.

Decision making in groups

Decision making in groups is sometimes examined separately as process and outcome. Process refers to the group interactions. Some relevant ideas include coalitions among participants as well as influence, consensus and persuasion. In addition to the different processes involved in making decisions, group decision support systems (GDSS- protocol a group uses to choose among scenario planning alternatives) may have different decision rules, like:

Other less desirable group decision rules (group think) are:

Plurality and dictatorship are less desirable as decision rules because they do not require the involvement of the broader group to determine a choice. Thus, they do not engender commitment to the course of action chosen. An absence of commitment from individuals in the group can be problematic during the implementation phase of a decision.

Decision making in one’s personal life

Some of the decision making techniques that we use in everyday life include:

Decision making in healthcare

In the health care field, the steps of making a decision are explained by the SHARE model:

Decision making in business and management

Ideally, business and management systems may be set up to allow decision making at the lowest possible level. There is literature available on many models, some of which include:

Data-based business decision making may include the following cycle:

Caveat: There are no perfect decision making rules. Depending on how the rules are implemented in practice and the situation, all of these can lead to situations where either no decision is made or to situations where decisions made are inconsistent with one another over time.

Content Curated By: Dr Shoury Kuttappa.

SAYING NO: INTERTWINED BEHAVIORS

Not doing something will always be faster than doing it. The same philosophy applies in other areas of life. For example, there is no meeting that goes faster than not having a meeting at all.This is not to say we should never attend another meeting, but the truth is that we say yes to many things we do not actually want to do. There are many meetings held that do not need to be held.

How often do people ask you to do something and you just reply, “Yes, OK.” Three days later, you are overwhelmed by how much is on your to-do list. We become frustrated by our obligations even though we were the ones who said yes to them in the first place. It is worth asking if things are necessary. Many of them are not, and a simple “no” will be more productive than whatever work the most efficient person can muster. But if the benefits of saying no are so obvious, then why do we say yes so often?

Why We Say Yes

We agree to many requests not because we want to do them, but because we do not want to be seen as rude, arrogant, or unhelpful. Often, we have to consider saying no to someone we will interact with again in the future—our co-worker/ spouse/ family/ friends. Saying no to these people can be particularly difficult because we like them and want to support them. (Not to mention, we often need their help too.) Collaborating with others is an important element of life. The thought of straining the relationship outweighs the commitment of our time and energy.

For this reason, it can be helpful to be gracious in our response. Do whatever favours we can, and be warm-hearted and direct when we have to say no. But even after we have accounted for these social considerations, many of us still seem to do a poor job of managing the trade-off between yes and no. We find ourselves over-committed to things that do not meaningfully improve or support those around us, and certainly don’t improve our own lives. Perhaps one issue is how we think about the meaning of yes and no.

The Difference Between Yes and No: A Perspective

The words “yes” and “no” get used in comparison to each other so often that it feels like they carry equal weight in conversation. In reality, they are not just opposite in meaning, but of entirely different magnitudes in commitment. When we say no, we are only saying no to one option. When we say yes, we are saying no to every other option. Every time we say yes to a request, we are also saying no to anything else we might accomplish with the time.

Once we have committed to something, we have already decided how that future block of time will be spent.

The Role of No

Saying no is sometimes seen as a luxury that only those in power can afford. And it is true: turning down opportunities is easier when we can fall back on the safety net provided by power, money, and authority. But it is also true that saying no is not merely a privilege reserved for the successful among us. It is also a strategy that can help us become successful. Saying no is an important skill to develop at any stage of our career because it retains the most important asset in life: our time. If we do not protect our time, people will steal it from us.

We need to say no to whatever is not leading us toward our goals. We need to say no to distractions. If we broaden the definition as to how we apply no, it actually is the only productivity hack (as we ultimately say no to any distraction in order to be productive).

There is an important balance to strike here. Saying no does not mean we will never do anything interesting or innovative or spontaneous. It just means that we say yes in a focused way. Once we have knocked out the distractions, it can make sense to say yes to any opportunity that could potentially move us in the right direction. We may have to try many things to discover what works and what we enjoy.

Upgrading The No

Over time, as we continue to improve and succeed, our strategy needs to change.The opportunity cost of our time increases as we become more successful. At first, we just eliminate the obvious distractions and explore the rest. As our skills improve and we learn to separate what works from what does not, we have to continually increase our threshold for saying yes.

We still need to say no to distractions, but we also need to learn to say no to opportunities that were previously good uses of time, so we can make space for great uses of time. It is a good problem to have, but it can be a tough skill to master. In other words, we have to upgrade our “no’s” over time. Upgrading our no does not mean we will never say yes. It just means we default to saying no and only say yes when it really makes sense. The general trend seems to be something like this: If we can learn to say no to bad distractions, then eventually we will earn the right to say no to good opportunities.

How to Say No

Most of us are probably too quick to say yes and too slow to say no. It is worth asking ourselves where we fall on that spectrum. One trick is to ask, “If I had to do this today, would I agree to it?” It is not a bad rule of thumb, since any future commitment, no matter how far away it might be, will eventually become an imminent problem. If an opportunity is exciting enough to drop whatever we are doing right now, then it is a yes. If it is not, then perhaps we should think twice.

It is impossible to remember to ask ourselves these questions each time we face a decision, but it’s still a useful exercise to revisit from time to time. Saying no can be difficult, but it is often easier than the alternative. It is easier to avoid commitments than get out of them. Saying no keeps us toward the easier end of this spectrum. What is true about health is also true about productivity: an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

The Power of No

More effort is wasted doing things that don’t matter than is wasted doing things inefficiently. And if that is the case, elimination is a more useful skill than optimization. Even worse, people will occasionally fight to do things that waste time. “Why can’t you just come to the meeting? We have it every week.” Just because it is scheduled weekly does not mean it is necessary weekly. We do not have to agree to something just because it exists.

Saying no to superiors at work can be particularly difficult. One approach could be to remind superiors what we would be neglecting if we said yes and force them to grapple with the trade-off (Data/ description and its impact on ongoing work). For example, if the manager asks to do X, we can respond with “Yes, I’m happy to make this the priority. Which of these other projects should I deprioritize to pay attention to this new project?”

Pointers to be aware of when saying No

Content Curated By: Dr Shoury Kuttappa

PERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS AND PRODUCTIVITY: BEHAVIOURS ASSOCIATED

Story – The Ivy Lee Method:

By 1918, Charles M. Schwab was one of the richest men in the world. Schwab was the president of the Bethlehem Steel Corporation, the largest shipbuilder, and the second-largest steel producer in America at the time. The famous inventor Thomas Edison once referred to Schwab as the “master hustler.” He was constantly seeking an edge over the competition. One day in 1918, in his quest to increase the efficiency of his team and discover better ways to get things done, Schwab arranged a meeting with a highly respected productivity consultant named Ivy Lee. Lee was a successful businessman in his own right and is widely remembered as a pioneer in the field of public relations.

The Ivy Lee Method:. . . . . . . . During his 15 minutes with each executive, Ivy Lee explained this simple set of daily routine steps for achieving peak productivity:

1. At the end of each workday, write down the six most important things you need to accomplish tomorrow.
2. Do not write down more than six tasks.
3. Prioritize those six items in order of their true importance.
4. When you arrive tomorrow, concentrate only on the first task.
5. Work until the first task is finished before moving on to the second task.
6. Approach the rest of your list in the same fashion.
7. At the end of the day, move any unfinished items to a new list of six tasks for the following day.
8. Repeat this process every working day.

The strategy sounded simple, but Schwab and his executive team at Bethlehem Steel gave it a try. After three months, Schwab was so delighted with the progress his company had made that he called Lee into his office and wrote him a check for $25,000. A $25,000 check written in 1918 is the equivalent of a $400,000 check in 2015.

The Ivy Lee Method of prioritizing our to-do list seems stupidly simple. How could something this simple be worth so much?

A) It is simple enough to actually work: . . . . . . . . The primary critique of methods like this one is that they are too basic. They do not account for all of the complexities and nuances of life. What happens if an emergency pops up? What about using the latest technology to our fullest advantage? Sometimes, complexity is actually a weakness because it makes it harder to get back on track. Emergencies and unexpected distractions will arise. Ignoring them as much as possible, dealing with them when we must, and getting back to our prioritized to-do list as soon as possible is what brings productivity. The use of simple rules to guide complex behaviour often serves the best results.

B) It forces us to make tough decisions: . . . . . . . . . There is nothing magical about Lee’s number of six important tasks per day. It could just as easily be five tasks per day. However, there is something magical about imposing limits upon ourselves. Sometimes, the single best thing to do when we have too many ideas (or when we are overwhelmed by everything we need to get done) is to prune our ideas and trim away everything that is not absolutely necessary. Constraints can make us better. Lee’s method is similar to Warren Buffett’s 25-5 Rule, which requires us to focus on just 5 critical tasks and ignore everything else. Basically, if we commit to nothing, we will be distracted by everything.

C) It removes the friction of starting: . . . . . . . . . The biggest hurdle to finishing most tasks is starting them. Lee’s method forces us to decide on our first task the night before we go to work. If we decide the night before, we can start work immediately the next day, and not end up wasting time deciding what needs our attention. It is simple, but it works. In the beginning, getting started is just as important as succeeding at all.

Another tool that could be useful here is known as the Eisenhower Box (or Eisenhower Matrix) and it’s a simple decision-making tool. General Dwight Eisenhower had an incredible ability to sustain his productivity for weeks and months. And for that reason, it is no surprise that his methods for time management, task management, and productivity have been studied by many people. Before becoming the 34th President of the United States, Eisenhower was a five-star general in the United States Army, served as the Supreme Commander of the Allied Forces in Europe during World War II, and was responsible for planning and executing invasions of North Africa, France, and Germany.

D) It requires us to single-task: . . . . . . . . . Modern society loves multi-tasking. The myth of multi-tasking is that being busy is synonymous with being better. The exact opposite is true. Having fewer priorities leads to better work. World-class experts in nearly any field—athletes, artists, scientists, teachers, CEOs—have one characteristic that runs through all of them: focus. The reason is simple. We cannot be great at one task if we are constantly dividing our time ten different ways. Mastery requires focus and consistency. The bottom line? Do the most important thing first each day. It’s the only productivity trick we need.

The Myth of Multitasking: Why Fewer Priorities Leads to Better Work

The word priority did not always mean what it does today. In his best-selling book, Essentialism (audiobook), Greg McKeown explains the surprising history of the word and how its meaning has shifted over time.

Yes, we are capable of doing two things at the same time. It is possible, for example, to watch TV while cooking dinner or to answer an email while talking on the phone. What is impossible, however, is concentrating on two tasks at once. Multitasking forces our brain to switch back and forth very quickly from one task to another. This would not be a big deal if the human brain could transition seamlessly from one job to the next, but it cannot. Multitasking forces us to pay a mental price each time we interrupt one task and jump to another. In psychology terms, this mental price is called the switching cost. Switching cost is the disruption in performance that we experience when we switch our attention from one task to another.

For example, A 2003 study published in the International Journal of Information Management found that the typical person checks email once every five minutes and that, on average, it takes 64 seconds to resume the previous task after checking your email. In other words, because of email alone, we typically waste one out of every six minutes.

The myth of multitasking is that it will make us more effective. In reality, remarkable focus is what makes the difference. While we are on the subject, the word multitasking first appeared in 1965 IBM report talking about the capabilities of its latest computer.

Finding Your Anchor Task: . .. . . . . . .  . Doing more things does not drive faster or better results. Doing better things drives better results. Even more accurately, doing one thing as best you can, drives better results. The power of choosing one priority is that it naturally guides our behavior by forcing us to organize our life around that responsibility. Our priority becomes an anchor task, the mainstay that holds the rest of our day in place. If things get crazy, there is no debate about what to do or not to do. We have already decided what is urgent and what is important.

Saying No to Being Busy: . . . . . . . . As a society, we have fallen into a trap of busyness and overwork. In many ways, we have mistaken all this activity to be something meaningful. The underlying thought seems to be, “Look how busy I am? If I am doing all this work, I must be doing something important.” And, by extension, “I must be important because I’m so busy.” The people who do the most valuable work have a remarkable willingness to say no to distractions and focus on their one thing.

Implementation Intentions: Mastering One Thing at a Time

Many people have multiple areas of life they would like to improve. The problem is, even if we are committed to working hard on our goals, our natural tendency is to revert back to our old habits at some point. Making a permanent lifestyle change is difficult.

The approach to mastering many areas of life is somewhat counterintuitive. If we want to master multiple habits and stick to them for good, then we need to figure out how to be consistent. How can we do that? Research has shown that we are 2x to 3x more likely to stick with our habits if we make a specific plan for when, where, and how we will perform the behavior. For example, in one study scientists asked people to fill out this sentence: “During the next week, I will partake in at least 20 minutes of vigorous exercise on [DAY] at [TIME OF DAY] at/in [PLACE].”

Psychologists call these specific plans “implementation intentions” because they state when, where, and how we intend to implement a particular behavior. For example, implementation intentions have been found to increase the odds that people will start exercising, begin recycling, stick with studying, and even stop smoking. However (and this is crucial to understand) follow-up research has discovered that implementation intentions only work when we focus on one thing at a time.

When we begin practicing a new habit it requires a lot of conscious effort to remember to do it. After a while, however, the pattern of behavior becomes easier. Eventually, our new habit becomes a normal routine, and the process is more or less mindless and automatic. Automaticity is the ability to perform a behavior without thinking about each step, which allows the pattern to become automatic and habitual. But here is the thing: automaticity only occurs as the result of lots of repetition and practice. The more reps we put in, the more automatic a behavior becomes. The most important thing to note is that there is some “tipping point” at which new habits become more or less automatic. The time it takes to build a habit depends on many factors including how difficult the habit is, what our environment is like, our genetics, and more.

The counterintuitive insight from all of this research is that the best way to change our entire life is by not changing our entire life. Instead, it is best to focus on one specific habit, work on it until we master it, and make it an automatic part of our daily life. Then, repeat the process for the next habit. The way to master more things in the long run is to simply focus on one thing right now.

Content Curated By: Dr Shoury Kuttappa

LESSONS FROM FARMING: LEADERSHIP AND MANAGEMENT BEHAVIOURS

Farmers pay attention to the details. It is not always an innate quality. By sheer hard work, constant research, an investment in time, and consistent habits he or she fosters growth in ways others may not understand. A farmer works harder for better results. We could easily be talking about leadership: it is so much like gardening.

As leaders, it is too easy to see the role as one of domination and control. We are in charge and we want everyone to know that. Yet, if we tend a garden or a farm, we learn quickly that the plants have their own way of surviving in the wild. We cannot pull on the green stems. A nurturing approach is not “an” option in leadership; it is the only option. It is also something you can learn with practice and patience, like farming and gardening. To lead effectively, we must nurture. In many ways, the gardening analogy is better than any other analogy (say, running a race, rowing, or building a house). Some things that come out well are:

Strengthen the corner post:. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . When building a fence, it is essential to have solid corner posts. Their purpose is to provide staying power of the tension so that the barbed wires stay taunt and useful. To gain this strength, a farmer needs to ensure the foundation for the hole is deep enough, well compacted, and braced to support the wires extending from at least two directions. We must be well-anchored and well-grounded to support the tensions and the reliance required to do the job consistently and continuously.

Plant well, harvest right:. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. There is more planning which goes into farming than we might realize. Key questions need to be answered such as:  What do we plant? Where do we plant it? Has the right soil preparation been done? When do we plant it? How do we care for it during the growing season? When do we harvest it? How can we maximize my harvest? Plan proactively, balancing timing with the right preparation to get the most results from all resources involved.

Look for the growth:. . . . . . . . . Growth will happen, especially with the most teachable people. Sometimes, we must look a little harder. We may have to get down on our hands and knees to see the germination in the farm, but when the first signs of life are observed, it is a wonderful discovery. The kind of excitement from seeing something grow needs only to be felt. If only we acted that excited as leaders in the workplace.

Pick rocks:. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. There are mundane jobs which need to be done to prevent troubles later or at critical times. Picking rocks is one of those responsibilities. Big rocks translate into less soil to grow crops. Small rocks create potential problems at harvest – a rock going through the equipment can result in costly repairs and delays. Do the mundane jobs to clear the environment of potential problems and get the most out of what you have.

Nurture in any way possible: . . . . . . . . . New growth in a garden or a farm is hard to spot and even harder to nurture. It is a bit like the security industry. In security, we have to use any means possible to protect our files. Install a firewall, use anti-virus software, train employees. In farming and gardening, we have to build a fence, add plant food, and cover the seedlings if there is an imminent freeze. Great leaders do the same. Leadership is primarily an act of defence. You defend employees, protect them, give them a place to do their jobs. Any other arrangement can quickly turn into a dictatorship.

Plant seeds and give space to the sowers: . . . . . . . . . The best leaders know how to plant the germ of an idea. They are subtle. “What would it take to get this new product launch a few more clicks on Facebook?” Maybe we already know the answer. Planting a seed is a way to encourage others to think, to foster ambitious ideas, to encourage creativity. The alternative to this leadership style is being the one who always has the best idea. To employees, that is like taking a fully grown tomato plant, digging a hole, and placing it into the garden. The shade alone from that massive stalk will kill the seeds (and the ideas). When newcomers bring ideas from other industries and businesses, are they welcomed or are they rooted out because “that’s not how we do things here”? True leaders think about the whole garden.

Get your hands dirty:. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. Farmers are unafraid of a little or a lot of dirt. From planting to harvesting and from cattle to chickens, farmers will get their hands dirty. They are in the middle of the action; and they know the only way to help get things done is to get your hands dirty. Jump in and activate the work that needs to be done.

Remove impediments: . . . . . . . . . Maybe the primary act of all great leaders is to remove impediments. Weeds always inhibit growth in a garden. We have to get creative about this process. Resolve conflict. Reward people what they are worth so they can perform their job. Remove distractions and confront problems. Like the master gardener, we are the primary weed control expert charged with encouraging growth.

Give your word, keep your word:. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. Farmers are helpful. If a neighbor needs a helping hand, it is extended. In rural communities, few words are generally spoken, but the words are always backed-up with action. There are few written agreements in farming; your hand-shake and your word are your commitments. If you say you are going to do something, you do it. Words and actions are bounded tightly together. Offer your commitment, keep your commitment. In the end, your reputation will be what remains.

Praise consistently: . . . . . . . . . Great leaders carry a watering can at all times. The job is highly dependent on our ability to nurture. Forget the sandwich principle (e.g., every negative remark should be “sandwiched” with one slice of praise on top and another on the bottom). Just praise. People have enough negative markers in their life for what they are doing wrong. We need to be the person who tells them what they are doing right and maybe, just maybe, they will grow into something amazing.

Consider the “season.” : . . . . . . . . .  In today’s 24-hour global economy, it would appear that there is no season, nothing that distinguishes night from day. But the smart leader watches the sky, reads the clouds, and can tell when there are shifts to indicate a new season. Bring products to market at the wrong time or introduce an idea without understanding timing and the “garden” can quickly resemble a piece of scorched earth.

Give credence to the unexpected and control what you can control.: . . . . . . . . .  The pandemic has not only raised havoc but spawned dangerous storms throughout the world. Leaders face such conditions: market downturns, a coup in Africa, airline strikes, terrorist attacks. A great leader takes all precautions and then remains flexible and ready for the unexpected. Scenario planning, a strategy first employed by Royal Dutch Shell, brings experts from a wide range of fields together to discuss actions if different scenarios take place. Scenario planning allows you to think out—in advance—various options. In like fashion, a master gardener always has all the tools, sprays, and plant potions necessary for probable surprises.

Feed different plants differently: . . . . . . . . .. Not every plant needs the same thing, yet all plants must eat. A “garden-wise” leader understands “nothing is so unequal as the equal treatment of unequals.” Just as each voice has its own unique sonogram, each employee, associate, and stakeholder needs a unique blend of “food.” For some, the “food” is numbers. For many, it is the opportunity to learn and advance in knowledge. For others, it is the engaging nature of the work itself that offers fulfilment.

Weeding is backbreaking work: . . . . . . . . .. A great leader hates this part of the task. It means fact-finding, accountability, and time. Not everything that is “green” belongs in my garden. Not every associate belongs with you. In fact, firing customers at times can also be the healthiest long-term fertilizer for a vibrant business.

Store for a better day:. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. After the crops are harvested, there are two options:  sell right away or store it. At times, the money may be needed sooner rather than later. Usually, the harvest season is not the best time to sell – supplies higher, prices lower. Also, you may need reserves to help out during the bad times, when the weather delivers a blow and crops suffer. A buffer is needed from time-to-time. Keep a reserve – funds, personal energy, time, etc. Know the critical resources and be ready for the droughts and the long haul.

Leaders must take time to stop and “smell the roses.” We can get so overwhelmed with the “work” of our garden that we forget why we planted it. When we step back and gaze at our enterprise, are we pleased with what we see?

Content Curated By: Dr Shoury Kuttappa

SHARING THE COMPANY VISION AS A LEADER

“Company vision” might be the fluffiest business term thrown around by nearly every business book and article, often used vaguely, without nuance or thoughtfulness.

Yet despite its watered-down usage, “vision” is the most important information for us to communicate across a team. Research indicates that vision was ranked as the number one information people need to share in a team. Given its significance, how to best share a company vision within a team? Before we can answer that, we must start with what company vision exactly is and why it is important.

What is company vision?

A vision is a picture of a better place. You see this picture in your head: It is what you want the world to look like because your product or team exists. In many ways, your team’s vision is your opinion on how you think the world ought to be. A vision answers the question, “What world do you want to create?” Vision is often misconstrued with other business terms, like “mission,” “purpose,” and “values.” But a vision is different from any of those things. A vision is what you want to create. The mission of your team is why you want to get to that vision. Your team’s values are how you want to get to that vision.

A company vision is a statement that outlines the long-term goals and aspirations of an organization. It is a powerful tool that helps define the direction of the company and provides guidance for decision-making. A strong vision statement can inspire and motivate employees, investors, and customers, and can help create a shared sense of purpose and identity.

Why does sharing a vision matter?

Sharing your company vision is important for four reasons:

• Clarifies decisions.

Many leaders strongly emphasise the importance of sharing vision as the ultimate tool for decision making. When the vision is clear, we give our team something explicitly to point to in decision making. The vision is the compass that all decisions are oriented around.

• Decentralizes decisions.

When the vision is shared across the team, each team member can have greater autonomy. Our team now has a shared destination on the map, so the manager doesn’t need to be ordering a series of coordinates instructing everyone how to get there. No more micromanaging. If we are clear about why we do what we do, our vision becomes a filter through which any employee can make decisions that align with who we are and what we’re about. But all of this is predicated on us as leaders regularly sharing this stuff.

• Alignment through disagreements.

A shared vision also helps a team make decisions amidst disagreement. When people argue over how to grow the sales or whether to pursue a project, this shared vision is a uniting force that can override seemingly irreconcilable differences in opinion. It can also give our co-workers the courage to speak up and offer dissenting opinions since they know what the ultimate vision of the team is what they are trying to achieve.

• The greatest motivator for our team.

When shared, a company vision is the most powerful way to motivate a group of people. It gives the team a common place to strive for. When each person clearly sees that same picture of a better place in their own minds’ eye, each person connects to it and feels that pull of motivation to want to create that place.

Here are three thoughts we can consider:

• Over-communicate vision at all-team meetings

The most common way to share company vision is to utilize team meetings. All-team or all-company meetings are an ideal opportunity to have this discussion: Everyone is present, and you are carving out time to talk about broader team and company issues. Regardless of the frequency, the most important thing is that we hold some sort of regular all-staff meeting and that we make a discussion of vision a part of it. Specifically, at these meetings, the team’s vision can be discussed in the following ways:

What is most important is to not make these meetings a progress update. It is found that employees often feel they know what their co-workers are working on, for the most part. Make communicating the vision the focus.

• Leverage the one-on-one meetings.

Communicating the vision isn’t just about broadcasting the vision: “This is the vision, and you must be on board…” Rather, sharing company vision should be a conversation. After all, a vision that is shared across a team is only built from the personal visions of everyone.

To do this, you will want to discuss the team’s vision during one-on-one meetings with the team members. For example, we can ask:

• Do not just talk about vision — codify it.

Talking about company vision during team meetings is great — but we should go beyond that as well. Leaders often present the vision to be something that developed organically and is discussed when needed. Documenting (codifying) the vision is another method on how to share the company vision. In particular, most teams seem to use an internal wiki or Google Docs to document and share the company vision. This often takes the form of a “culture book” or a few pages of their employee handbook.

As fluffy as the word “vision” can be, it can also be powerful when used effectively.

Content Curated By: Dr Shoury Kuttappa

PROBLEM SOLVING: BEHAVIOURS IN LEADERSHIP

Leadership is the ability to inspire, influence, and guide others towards achieving a common goal. Effective leadership requires strong problem-solving skills, as leaders need to be able to identify and solve complex problems to drive their teams towards success. Problem-solving provides us those mechanisms of recognizing things, comprehending why they need to be fixed, and determining a course for the action to improve them. They help organisations and individuals to control the environment.

What Are Problem Solving Skills?

Problem-solving skills enable you to determine the problems promptly and efficiently. Problem-solving abilities require quickly determining the underlying problem and implementing a solution. Problem-solving is regarded as having a personal strength rather than a skill that is acquired or learned through coaching or training. You can enhance your problem-solving skills by getting to know the common problems in business and learning from more experienced or qualified people.

Problem-solving skills examples

Research:  . . . . . . . . . .  Researching is a basic skill associated with problem-solving. As a problem solver, we are required to be able to identify the root of the problem and know it completely. We can start to collect more information about a problem by brainstorming with other team members, asking more qualified colleagues, or gaining knowledge through online research or courses.

Analysis:  . . . . . . . . . .  This is another very important step to solving the problem in any situation. Our searching abilities will enable you to understand problems and efficiently produce solutions. We will also require analytical abilities during research to help differentiate between effective and ineffective solutions. 

Decision-making:  . . . . . . . . . . We will want to make a decision about how to resolve the issues that occur. At times, we may be prepared to make a decision immediately. Reliable research and analytical abilities can benefit those who have less experience in their profession. There may also be moments when it is suitable to take some time to craft a solution or escalate the problem to someone more competent in solving it. 

Communication:  . . . . . . . . . .  When knowing probable solutions, we will want to know how to interact, share and seek help on the problem with others. We will also be required to know what communication ways are the most suitable when attempting this. Once we get a solution, communicating it clearly will help overcome any complexity and make implementing a solution more accessible. 

Dependability:  . . . . . . . . . .  Dependability is one of the most valuable skills for problem-solvers. Solving problems at the right time is important. People highly appreciate individuals they can trust to both identify and then implement solutions as quickly and efficiently as possible.

Behavioural problem solving skills.

There are some important behavioural skills that problem solvers usually own. These include: 

If we come out of our comfort zone when seeking to have a solution to a possible problem and doubt our problem-solving skill, there are lots of methods to develop these. While some people are natural problem-solvers, others may struggle with this skill. However, with the right mindset and approach, anyone can develop effective problem-solving behaviors.

Positive Mindset: . . . One of the essential problem-solving behaviors is a positive mindset. Having a positive attitude helps us approach challenges with an open mind, creativity, and determination. Instead of being overwhelmed by a problem, we can view it as an opportunity to learn, grow and improve. A positive attitude also helps maintain focus and motivation, even in the face of setbacks or obstacles.

Analytical Thinking: . . . This involves breaking down complex problems into smaller, more manageable components, identifying patterns and relationships, and developing logical solutions. Analytical thinking helps us approach a problem systematically and objectively, reducing the likelihood of making hasty or emotional decisions.

Creativity: . . . Creativity allows us to think outside the box and come up with innovative solutions. By approaching problems from different perspectives and exploring new ideas, we can develop unique solutions that others may not have considered.

Collaboration: . . . Collaboration is a problem-solving behavior that involves working with others to identify and solve problems. By involving others, we can gain different perspectives, insights, and experiences that can help develop more effective solutions. Collaborating with others also promotes teamwork, communication, and mutual respect, which are essential for success in any area of life.

Continuous Improvement: . . . Finally, continuous improvement is a problem-solving behavior that involves learning from our mistakes and striving to do better. By evaluating the outcomes of our solutions, we can identify areas for improvement and develop strategies to avoid similar problems in the future. Continuous improvement also helps to stay adaptable and responsive to changing circumstances, enabling us to navigate new challenges with confidence.

An Example

As part of its strategy to adapt to pandemic times, Walmart began studying changes that can be brought about to the way the stores are managed. The company is researching on the feasibility of introducing a new team-based operating model which may include the following:

1. Cross-training small teams of associates, who can then better offer support during busy shifts or for associates who take time off 
2. New leadership roles, both at the salaried and hourly level
3. A new pay structure and higher pay for team leads

The previous position of “co-manager” has now become the “store lead,” who is responsible for the store when the manager is away. The “assistant manager” role has become the “coach,” who is responsible for financials, merchandising, staffing, and talent for a large area of the store. And “department managers” are now known as “team leads,” whose responsibilities include setting goals and priorities for small teams of associates. This basic blueprint is one that is founded on sound business strategy and emotional intelligence. The takaways are:

A) People over tasks:  . . . . . . . . . .  On close analysis, we see how Walmart has approached this. The company’s new “team lead” position, which now takes the place of the former “department manager”: These associates will lead and develop people, rather than focusing on completing tasks, giving associates a more direct connection to leadership. 

Bad managers typically spend most of their time putting out fires and use their people to do the same. They go from one crisis to another and seem to always be behind the curve.

In contrast, great managers take more of a leadership role. They focus on developing people instead of managing tasks. They help their people to think critically, teaching principles instead of rules. Then, they give their people the freedom to make decisions, and even to make mistakes–knowing that those mistakes can be turned into major learning opportunities. As a result, they develop people who make good decisions, and help prepare them for greater responsibility in the future.

B) Breadth over depth :  . . . . . . . . . .  Another interesting value lies in the description of Walmart’s previous role of ‘assistant store manager’ versus its new role of ‘coach’:

1. Assistant store manager: Responsible for merchandising plans for their specific area
2. Coach: Responsible for financials, merchandising, staffing, and talent for a larger area

In the new role, coaches have a much broader area of responsibility. Some may see this type of increase in scope as overwhelming, but it has great potential for helping company leaders: Instead of getting trapped in silos or developing a limited perspective, such leaders are gradually trained to see the big picture. They begin to think more critically, to understand how different areas of the business relate to each other–and how to use resources in one area to solve problems in another.

C) Don’t just tell. Show. :  . . . . . . . . . .  Walmart praises employees for their work during the pandemic. But those words of appreciation are made more effective by Walmart’s promise to increase pay for around 165,000 hourly associates. Sincere and specific words of praise can go a long way in keeping your employees motivated. But what will do an even better job is sincere and specific praise that’s backed up–with a reward for their efforts.

Problem-solving behaviors are critical to effective leadership. Leaders who can identify, analyze, develop, implement, and evaluate solutions to complex problems are more likely to achieve their goals and lead their teams towards success. By consistently exhibiting these problem-solving behaviors, leaders can create a culture of innovation and continuous improvement that benefits everyone in their organization.

Content Curated By: Dr Shoury Kuttappa.

OVERTHINKING: COGNITIVE MANIFESTATIONS

Thoughts are powerful. They become reality. Whatever we hold in your mind on a consistent basis is exactly what we will experience in life. All humans have patterns to their behaviour. These patterns develop over time based on life experiences. And just as patterns are learned, they can also be unlearned.

What Is Overthinking?

The classic overthinking definition is, “to think about something too much or for too long.” While it’s human nature to think things through when making a decision or evaluating a situation, it becomes overthinking when you can’t get out of your own head, worrying about the future or ruminating about the past. Overthinking a tough decision that needs to be made can also cause problems. Replaying all the options in the head can lead to “paralysis by analysis”.

Why Do We Overthink?

Often overthinking is a by-product of anxiety or depression. Often overthinking only materializes when we need to make a tough life decision or when we are dealing with insecurities. If overthinking is not a symptom of a deeper emotional issue, it can often be addressed by changing thoughts and mindsets.

How To Stop Overthinking

Know that overthinking and problem solving aren’t the same thing:
Constantly ruminating and going over scenarios and possibilities often disguises itself as problem solving. It feels like doing something good and useful. Recognize when you’re overthinking something, don’t act like it’s problem solving, and press fast-forward.

Remember the 90-10 rule:
This is a formula, a ratio, for how to value ourselves, based on 90 percent self-worth, 10 percent assigned worth. Ninety percent should come from self-acceptance and self-appreciation, and just 10 percent from external validation. Overthinkers distort the formula, even reversing it by acting like 90 percent of their worth comes from what others think or say. So they worry, which takes the form of overthinking.  

Reopen the door only when new information knocks:
Overthinking goes into overdrive when we keep revisiting decisions we make, refusing to close the door on a call that has been made. Believe that you’ve done your due diligence, and revisit something you’ve already decided only when you’re presented with new information.

Assume good intent:
Overthinkers read too much into things. They are assuming something bad lies underneath, something like a bad perception, someone wishing them ill, or an unfavourable outcome. When this happens, switch the assumption to what is well-intended, or at least neutral.

Embrace informed ignorance and uncertainty:
We can’t read the future, we can’t read minds, and we can’t know everything. When we don’t know something, we tend to fill in the blanks, often with worthless assumptions. One of human tendencies is that we would rather be unhappy than uncertain. These assumptions can take many forms, all infusing themselves into the inner monologue of the overthinker. Try to replace “what if” with “we’ll see.” Another way to handle uncertainty could be the OAR:

1. Observe uncertainty, don’t overreact to it.
2. Acknowledge the presence of uncertainty and accept that impermanence is inevitable.
3. Realize that uncertainty brings benefits, like unleashing creativity and resilience.

Finding clarity in this way usually only takes a few minutes and bit of energy and it can save you a lot of time and suffering.

Stop framing the unremarkable as catastrophic:
This means stop taking small details and turning them into questionable conclusions. We often feel the need to overthink because we simply fear being wrong. Stop making a mountain out of a molehill. Ask yourself in such moments what the realistic cost of being wrong is. When you can lower the stakes, you raise your ability to get mentally unstuck.

Put things into a wider perspective.

It’s very easy to fall into the trap of overthinking minor things in life. So when you are thinking and thinking about something ask yourself: Will this matter in 5 years? Or even in 5 weeks? Widening the perspective by using this simple question can quickly snap us out of overthinking and help to let go of that situation. Get outside it and switch gears to connect with what’s going on around you so you can take joy in it.

Set short time-limits for decisions.
If we do not have a time-limit for when we must make a decision and take action then it can just keep turning our thoughts around and around for a very long time. Setting deadlines for when to complete the decision and spring into action can help to work around this.

Realize that you cannot control everything:
Trying to think things through 50 times can be a way to try to control everything. To cover every eventuality so you don’t risk making a mistake, fail or looking like a fool. But those things are a part of living a life where we truly stretch our comfort zone. Stop trying to control everything. Trying to do so simply doesn’t work because no one can see all possible scenarios in advance. This is of course easier said than done. So do it in small steps if you like.

Spend more of your time in the present moment:
By being in the present moment in our everyday life rather than in the past or a possible future in our mind we can replace more and more of the time we usually spend on overthinking things with just being here right now instead. Some ways that can help to reconnect with the present moment are:

1. Slow down how you do whatever you are doing right now. Move slower, talk slower or ride your bicycle more slowly for example.
2. Disrupt and reconnect. If you feel you are getting lost in overthinking then disrupt that thought (for example, by – in your mind – shouting this to yourself : STOP), then reconnect with the present moment by taking just 1-2 minutes to focus fully on what is going on around you.

Spend more of your time with people who do not overthink things.
Our social environment plays a big part. And not just the people and groups close to us in real life, but also what you read, listen to and watch. The blogs, books, forums, movies, podcasts and music in our life. So think about the sources in life that encourages and tends to create more overthinking in your mind. And think about what people or sources that has the opposite effect on you. Find ways to spend more time and attention with the people and input that have a positive effect on our thinking and less on the influences that tends to strengthen your overthinking habit.

Content Curated By: Dr Shoury Kuttappa